GRATEFUL

To my dedicated followers, I thank you for continuing to read and I feel like I need to apologize for spewing so much negativity. However, this is currently my life. This blog has been therapeutic for me. I am able to release a little bit of the stress and bullshit. As the words are flowing I sometimes stop and really try to think about the current situation. I don’t necessarily find the answers I wish I had, but I do find a bit of acceptance.

I do have some wonderful people in my life that I am blessed and grateful to have. My number one is my husband. He is the quiet force behind me that continues to hold me up regardless of how tired and exhausted he is. He is my everything and I would be lost without him.

I’m not one of those people who have hundreds of close friends. I have a lot of people that I would consider acquaintances and I have 358 Facebook friends. I honestly have not maintained friendships from high school. I am in awe of people who have continued to evolve those friendships.

I feel fortunate to have a variety of different people in my life that I consider to be very close friends. People I can confide in and trust. There are a few of those friendships that have hit road bumps along the way. Different life issues created breaks in the friendship. I am so very blessed that I was able to patch those breaks and move forward. I am still working on one relationship/friendship – but I am hopeful we will be moving forward and creating more memories together in the near future. Even with the breaks and life issues, I have no doubt I can reach out for help or guidance and have a shoulder to cry on or a voice of reason.

I appreciate the friendships where the door is always open. There are no strings attached. Come as you are, you know where the alcohol is, help yourself and be comfortable. The conversation is deep and varied. There is no judgement if views are different and I always feel a little lighter when I leave.

Over the last few years I have made new friends and had some incredible adventures. My sister has always been a person I could count on, but we have become much closer recently. She is definitely part of my inner-circle. She and her husband have been very fortunate in life and they have no issue sharing that fortune with others. Down deep my sister is a rocker at heart. She has made it a mission to see as many concerts as she possibly can. And she always takes me along for the ride. The genre is varied between rock, pop, jazz – pretty much anything. Most recently we went to Las Vegas to see the final concert of Guns n Roses Not in this Lifetime Tour. That was the fourth time we same them in concert over the last three years. It was freaking amazing! My sister also includes some of her close friends. At first, I have to admit, I wasn’t sure how to feel about this. I feel very protective of my sister. There are people I feel use her because of her good nature and her wealth. HOWEVER, I can’t explain how wonderful these women are. We are all at different places in our lives, come from different backgrounds, but we mesh in a way that is incredible. I feel I could throw an SOS text out and each of them would find a way to help. We lift each other up. It is a very strong group of women and did I mention beautiful? Each one so different and beautiful in their own way. I don’t feel judged, I feel accepted. I have so many wonderful memories and look forward to making many more with these incredible women.

I need to mention my other kids. I have two amazing sons. The oldest is 26 and has a wonderful girlfriend and baby girl. He is working in a field that he loves and is making a name for himself. The next in line is my 23 year old son. He married a wonderful girl a few months ago in a beautiful ceremony. They have a house and a new puppy. He is also doing very well in his career and is also going to school part-time to receive his bachelor’s in business. I am anxious and hopeful that they start working on a family in the next few years! It is simply amazing to sit back and watch them and grow into incredible adults. They make me very proud and I am grateful for their love and support.

I do believe that things happen in life for a reason. I will be the first to admit when my son and his girlfriend came to us and told us they were pregnant on April 10, 2017 (I remember the date because April 10 is my husbands birthday) I was in shock and very unsure how to feel. I was scared for them, were they ready for this (my son is 25 and his girlfriend 23), was I ready for this? But oh my wow! My beautifully perfect granddaughter officially joined our family on 10/7/18 and my life changed. Through all the sadness and heartache in dealing with my daughter, my granddaughter brings a light and joy to my world that I can’t begin to explain. She reminds me I can be happy, she reminds me to laugh and most of all she loves me unconditionally.

Thank you to those that continue to read and comment. I have so many topics I can’t wait to write about.