Darkness

I begged the darkness to take me.  Cocoon me in nothingness.  No feelings, no thoughts, no love, no loss, no hurt, no guilt – nothing.  Keep me safe from others; keep others safe from me.  I will let the darkness do with me as it wishes.  

I have no excuses for all the wrongs I have done.  I will not make excuses.  I am not a prize to be won or bartered for.  My love is not a prize to be won or bartered for.

The armor I wear every day is stronger than diamonds.  My heart, with each break, turns to stone.  Hard and impenetrable. 

I will try again tonight. I will whisper sweet nothings to the darkness. I will beg the darkness.