I begged the darkness to take me. Cocoon me in nothingness. No feelings, no thoughts, no love, no loss, no hurt, no guilt – nothing. Keep me safe from others; keep others safe from me. I will let the darkness do with me as it wishes.
I have no excuses for all the wrongs I have done. I will not make excuses. I am not a prize to be won or bartered for. My love is not a prize to be won or bartered for.
The armor I wear every day is stronger than diamonds. My heart, with each break, turns to stone. Hard and impenetrable.
I will try again tonight. I will whisper sweet nothings to the darkness. I will beg the darkness.