I don’t know

I don’t know how to be me without you. I don’t know who I am without you. I have never really been me without you. How can that be? Do you feel that way? Is that okay? I don’t know anymore. I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know how to live like this. I don’t know how to keep existing like this. Do you?

Part of me wants to curl up on your lap and let you hold me. Part of me wants to scream and cry and tell you everything that is in my head and heart. How do you feel ?

Am I done with you? Are you done with me? Are we done with each other?

What do you hold onto? What do you hold dear? What can’t you live without? Can you tell me? Will you tell me?

Why do you need me? Why am I important to you? Can you tell me?

Do you know how to take care of me yet? What it would look like or be like for you? Would you share that with me?

How can we sleep in the same bed, but live separately? How do we live in the same house and yet having nothing to talk about?

Do you miss me? Do you miss my smell? Do you miss my laugh? Do you miss my smile? DO YOU MISS ME?

I don’t have the answers for us. I don’t know anymore. I am so tired, so very tired.