I love reading. I love reading a phrase that speaks to me. I feel like I’m the first person to truly get what the writer was trying to make the reader see, or feel, or experience. There is a phrase I read recently that I think about all the time.
There are no rules where you dream.
Think about that. Each time I read it; it means something different to me. But that’s what words are for, right? It’s about discovery and learning and growth. It’s about thinking of something in a different way, looking at the world around you in a different way. Maybe the words make you feel a certain way about yourself, your lover, your friend, your world.
There are no rules where you dream.
I can dream about the person I want to be. I can dream about the person I wish I was. I can dream about the person I am meant to be. All different, but so very similar.
There are no rules where you dream.
I can daydream. I do daydream. There are no rules when I daydream. No one knows I’m doing it. Daydreaming of living in a different place, living in a different time, living in a different world.
There are no rules where you dream.
Sometimes, dreams take me back to times in my life I don’t want to remember. But there are no rules. I have to remember that – there are no rules. There are no rules that say I have torepeat my past mistakes, re-live my past tragedies, or feel the shame and guilt of those times.
There are no rules where you dream.
So, tell me. If there are no rules where you dream, what will you dream? Where will your dreams take you?
I am a self-proclaimed WORDY. I love words. I love to talk, I love to listen, I love to read, I love to write (not well, but it’s for me so ….), I love song lyrics. I want to wow and amaze people with what I write. I want my words to start conversations. I want my words to invoke a feeling. Even if you hate what I write, hate is still a feeling – right? I want to use big fancy words, but that’s just not me. I like big fancy words. I love learning the meaning of words that are new to me.
I love writing a note in a card, or sending an email or text to someone that makes them feel special. It is my hope that they feel special because of the words I have carefully chosen to give them. The words aren’t always eloquent, but they are always heartfelt and sincere. I have used my words to write poems and letters to loved ones that have passed. I have used my words to write speeches for special occasions. I just love using words and seeing people respond to my words.
Three songs hit me in the face this morning with the lyrics. First, Macarthur Park by Donna Summer. The lyrics for your reading pleasure. What do they say to you?
Spring was never waiting for us, dear It ran one step ahead As we followed in the dance
MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it ‘Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again Oh, no
I recall the yellow cotton dress Foaming like a wave On the ground beneath your knees The birds, like tender babies in your hands And the old men playing Chinese checkers by the trees
MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it ‘Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again Oh, no
MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down Someone left my cake out in the rain And I don’t think that I can take it ‘Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again Oh, no, oh
The second and third are from my girl crush. Seriously. P!nk (sigh). First would be the song Happy. Again, lyrics for your reading pleasure. I swear she read my mind. Can you relate?
Since I was 17 I’ve always hated my body And it feels like my body’s hated me Can somebody find me a pill To make me un-afraid of me?
Seen every therapist, but I’m a cynical bitch Don’t like to talk about my feelings I take another hit, I find another fake fix ‘Cause it’s easier than healing
I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy
Since I was 22 I’ve been with somebody who loves me And I’ve been tryna believe it’s true But my head always messes up my heart No matter what I do
Seen every therapist, but I’m a cynical bitch Don’t like to talk about my feelings I take another sip, I swear it’s my last fix ‘Cause it’s easier than healing
‘Cause I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me
Maybe I’m just scared to be happyMaybe I’m just scared to be happy Maybe I’m just scared to be happyI’m so scared of having something to lose
I’m scared of being somebody new I’m so scared of all them seeing the truth ‘Cause right now I’ve got nothing
But I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy
Maybe I’m just scared to be happy (Maybe, yeah) Maybe I’m, I’m scared to be happy
And the final P!nk (sigh) song. True Love. If you have been in a relationship for any amount of time, this fits, PERFECTLY! Don’t you agree? Lyrics for your reading pleasure. I know I am smiling as I sing along off key with my girl P!nk to this one!
Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face (whoa oh oh) There’s no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down I know life would suck without you (whoa oh oh) At the same time, I wanna hug you I wanna wrap my hands around your neck You’re an asshole but I love you And you make me so mad, I ask myself Why I’m still here, or where could I go You’re the only love I’ve ever known But I hate you, I really hate you So much I think it must be True love, true love It must be true love Nothin’ else can break my heart like True love, true love It must be true love No one else can break my heart like you
Just once tried to wrap your little brain around my feelings Just once please try no to be so mean (whoa oh oh) Repeat after me now R-O-M-A-N-C-E-E-E Come on I’ll say it slowly (Romance!) You can do it babe At the same time, I wanna hug you I wanna wrap my hands around your neck You’re an asshole but I love you And you make me so mad, I ask myself Why I’m still here, or where could I go You’re the only love I’ve ever known But I hate you, I really hate you So much I think it must be True love, true love It must be true love Nothin’ else can break my heart like True love, true love It must be true love No one else can break my heart like you
Think it must be love (I love you) I think it must be love (I love you) Why do you rub me up the wrong way? Why do you say the things that you say? Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be But without you I’m incomplete I think it must be True love, it must be true love It must be true love
Nothin’ else can break my heart like True love, true love It must be true love No one else can break my heart like you
So, having said all that. As much as I love giving words, I love receiving words. I need words from those around me. I need words to really believe how and why you need me. I need words to really believe you want me and no one else. I need words to really believe you will always be my side. I need words to believe you truly love me and only me. Maybe you can’t find your own words, and that’s okay. Poems use words, songs use words. Is there a song you hear that makes you think of me? Why do I need words so desperately? I’m honestly not sure. I just do. Maybe the words give me something I can hold onto or I can reflect on when I’m doubting myself. Does that make sense?
How do I...life? 